The fairwell storyo n the radio
Her story was heard by producers, who afterward wanted to help her turn it into a film.ĭid they really stage a wedding so that the whole family could see the grandmother? Her segment was titled "What You Don't Know" and aired as part of the episode " In Defense of Ignorance". Prior to making the movie, writer/director Lulu Wang told the story of her family's little white lie in an April 2016 episode of the This American Life podcast. Making the film more authentic is the fact that Wang was able to cast her own Great-Aunt Hong Lu as Billi's great-aunt in the movie. Therefore, she decided it was best not to tell her. She'd stop eating, have trouble sleeping, and ultimately lose interest in life. She believed that Nai Nai would become overwhelmed with fear and depression if she knew. As seen in the film, Nai Nai's sister was the one who received the cancer diagnosis from the doctor. "Nai Nai's sister has been taking care of her, they've been very close since they were kids, and they live in the same apartment building, so it was ultimately her decision," says Wang.
Her father, who had lived for long periods of time in both the United States and China, was conflicted at first but in the end chose to respect Chinese tradition. The Farewell true story confirms that both her father and her uncle, who were the surviving men of the family, supported the decision. In real life, who ultimately made the decision not to tell the grandma she was dying?ĭirector Lulu Wang, whose own experience inspired the film, says that like in the movie, it was her great-aunt (her grandmother's sister) who ultimately made the decision to withhold the diagnosis. Actors Zhao Shuzhen and Awkwafina portray them in The Farewell movie (right). Lulu Wang is pictured with her Nai Nai in real life (left). It is believed that doing so may curse oneself. Registering as an organ donor is also uncommon, as is writing a will. People will even pay more for cell phone numbers without the number '4', since it has a similar sound to the Mandarin word for death. Simply bringing up mortality is believed to beget bad luck, possibly bringing oneself closer to their own end. In fact, death is considered one of the most taboo topics in Chinese culture. As a result of withholding diagnoses, family members aren't in control of how they spend their remaining days, and Chinese people are less capable of dealing with death and talking about an illness.
While it can be argued that not telling a family member may give them more worry-free days to enjoy what remains of their life and allow them to die happier, it also has had negative impacts. The Chinese also believe that mental and emotional health are directly linked to physical health. "Most families in China would choose not to tell her," explains a doctor in the film. It's true that doctors often break bad news to members of the family instead of the patients themselves. As stated in the film, it is believed in the East that a person's life is part of a whole (the family), instead of solely belonging to oneself. As stated in the movie, Chinese law allows keeping a prognosis from a family member, something that is both unheard of and illegal in the United States. Is it legal in China to not tell a family member that they are dying? Zhao Shuzhen (left) as Nai Nai in The Farewell and the real Nai Nai (right).